What happens to your watches when you pass?

[dapellegrini]

Curious if any of you have felt compelled to make plans for your watch collection, if/when you check out?

I have so many watches, many separated from their boxes and papers, that would require a significant effort on my part to put back together, I just can't imagine leaving my kids to solve such riddles without some serious help / notes.

I've started a Google Doc that I hope my kids will find, with photos matching the watches to box and papers where appropriate, and need to document other details, like services completed on the watch (with dates), where they came from, how much I paid, etc.  Am I the only one?  Please share your organization and plans.  Mine could certainly use some fine tuning!

[small]

Apr 8, 2024 17:15:52 GMT -8 dapellegrini said:

Curious if any of you have felt compelled to make plans for your watch collection, if/when you check out?

I have so many watches, many separated from their boxes and papers, that would require a significant effort on my part to put back together, I just can't imagine leaving my kids to solve such riddles without some serious help / notes.

I've started a Google Doc that I hope my kids will find, with photos matching the watches to box and papers where appropriate, and need to document other details, like services completed on the watch (with dates), where they came from, how much I paid, etc.  Am I the only one?  Please share your organization and plans.  Mine could certainly use some fine tuning!

I don't think there is an "If" or hasn't been one yet. Reminds me of a financial planner from almost 30 years ago saying that I needed to have X amount in my retirement. I said you're nuts, I won't be able to buy food if I stick that much away from my check!. She said I need that much so I didn't have to touch principle! I said why wouldn't I want to touch that, and she said because you don't know how long you'll live...We went back and forth and I said I won't live forever can't you do the calcs based on zeroing at 100 years old, and she said she couldn't. I said I'll get my Quattro Pro and try and figure it out and that was the end of our session... 

Now as far as what will happen. I have done about the same for other things I own of value. I have serial numbers and descriptions and the average value that has a date of when that was. Prices need to be updated I guess. As for what I spent on things, like watches I keep that kind of too myself, I don't even want to know what I've spent. I did think about adding a photo of the watches I have, that I have kept the boxes for, just so they can go back in them...Tools, pocket knives, etc. can get passed on to those that may want them. After that I'm not sure...

My late FIL created what we have now dubbed the "Death Binder" that has just about every and anything that he thought would be important. Account numbers, passwords, instructions on how to get death certificates, and how many. Where to find original copies of the will, etc, etc. How accounts should be handled etc. My wife and I are slowly creating ours...Login info for what we take care of. I have my own accounts for my allowance, she has the rest. Somethings are on auto bill pay etc etc. Those lists or inventory are included. There is really a bunch that needs to be thought of. I think.

That said my mom passed just before Thanksgiving last year, and she didn't do 95% of that, and she had not updated her will, which was 16 years old! That has been creating huge family issues. Which we all knew was coming, even before she was lowered in the ground...Heck I was gifted a Picture from her. That was already gifted to me from my grandfather (her dad) before he passed. I told my grandmother that the kitchen wouldn't look the same if it wasn't hanging there, when it was time I'd take it home with me. I know my mom knew it was mine, but that is what she included in her will that I would get...Funny it wasn't hers to pass on...


I'm no estate planner but having group discussions before hand can help. Telling one person one thing another person something else and then having a will with instructions that doesn't mention those conversations makes things very difficult or can. In our case my sister was my mom's "care giver" for the last couple of years and felt she would be "rewarded" for her doing that. My brothers did little more than be a taxi service from time to time. The fact that the will divided everything equally and did not take that in to account b/c it was written so far in advance, my sisters share is equal to that of the rest if the siblings. There isn't such a thing as Fair in life or death. 


Last note a coworker asking me questions a while back asked "Who else knows all this?" My response was I don't think anyone but it isn't a secret. She said "so what happens when you die?" I said the F do I care I'm dead!      

[nordlys]

I care less about the watches and more about the other things. As small mentioned above, it's important to have your ducks in a row when you start getting older (yes, anyone can die at anytime, but there's a much higher probability that you'll die tomorrow once you're over 60 compared to when you're, say, 30). 

My mom passed away 3 years ago, and similar to small, she really didn't have her ducks in a row. It created a giant headache for us for well over a year, and she really didn't even have that many assets.

Once I get to retirement age, I plan on creating an "if found dead, open this" binder that will cover everything that small's FIL has. Maybe it will mention watches, but I honestly don't care all that much about where the watches end up. I plan on telling my kids what are the 2-3 most sentimental watches that I hope they'll keep to remember me by. As for the rest, they can do whatever they want with them for all I care.

[scubarob99]

Apr 9, 2024 5:19:26 GMT -8 nordlys said:

I care less about the watches and more about the other things. As small mentioned above, it's important to have your ducks in a row when you start getting older (yes, anyone can die at anytime, but there's a much higher probability that you'll die tomorrow once you're over 60 compared to when you're, say, 30). 

My mom passed away 3 years ago, and similar to small, she really didn't have her ducks in a row. It created a giant headache for us for well over a year, and she really didn't even have that many assets.

Once I get to retirement age, I plan on creating an "if found dead, open this" binder that will cover everything that small's FIL has. Maybe it will mention watches, but I honestly don't care all that much about where the watches end up. I plan on telling my kids what are the 2-3 most sentimental watches that I hope they'll keep to remember me by. As for the rest, they can do whatever they want with them for all I care.

My sentiments exactly!
I started what's called a 'Swedish death cleaning' so that the kids don't get stuck with clutter.
My mom passed in 2019 and my sister and I had to clear out her house, which still had my t-shirts from when I was 10, and spices in the kitchen were from the Carter days.
It is very liberating to let go. I've sold about 20 watches in the last 2 months and don't miss a single one.

Rob

[tommie]

Ooh-errr… writing down what they cost might lead to some bad feelings towards me in my grave if I go before the mrs

[camrok]

I’ve discussed this with [mention]tritto [/mention] and awkwardly asked him to be the executor of my watches and have already informed my wife that if and when she is done figuring out my shit, to hit up Tristan for advice.

Tristan has watched one of his friends pass away with a very high end luxury watch collection and saw her navigate that process.

I think many of us have seen [mention]lordflagpoledaughter [/mention] and her task of sharing her dad’s prized belongings and some of the emotions and dramas attached to it.

[mention]small [/mention] that’s incredible insight to have a death binder. I have a friend who calls it a death diary. It takes pride in the family bookshelf and it’s all thoughts, wishes and instructions about stuff to do with death and the aftermath.

I work with death, regularly, often daily.

I love this discussion because it normalizes death in conversation.

Have those weird conversations with your families and friends.

And when thinking about your death and belongings I saw a really cool video of Keanu Reeves with a comedian.

He was asked, what do you think will happen after you die. Possibly trying to elicit drama, controversy or sensation about afterlife.

Keanu paused for about 5 sec. Then said. The ones who love us will miss us.

[nordlys]

Apr 9, 2024 21:56:48 GMT -8 camrok said:

I work with death, regularly, often daily.

I love this discussion because it normalizes death in conversation.

Have those weird conversations with your families and friends.

I think it's essential to normalize conversations around all of our eventual demises to make the process easier for those left behind. My Mom absolutely refused to talk about her eventual death with anyone. She was scared to death of it (pun intended). She was diagnosed with heart failure 6 years prior to her death and, as anyone familiar with medicine knows, the 10-year survival rate of those diagnosed with heart failure is rather low. i.e., we all knew the end was coming sooner rather than later.

However, whenever we even vaguely mentioned the possibility of her passing and hinting that we should start planning for it, she would have an absolute conniption fit and start saying things like "You just want me gone!" No, we didn't want her gone, we just wanted to have everything in order so the process after her passing would go smoothly.

Well, guess what? The end did come sooner rather than later, and rather suddenly at that. Of course, we never did get around to discussing or planning the details of what to do after her passing, and those left behind were left scrambling to figure everything out.

I love my mom, but having said that, I would never want to leave my kids in the same position when I eventually pass. The process of losing a parent is already hard enough. No need to make it harder by dumping all of the responsibilities of handling your affairs on them.

[small]

I guess this is kind of the thread that brings out a more personal side to us members, can thank dapellegrini

The idea about what happens after? Yes some people will have some people missing us, others it might have a sense of relief. The last few years my mom was alive she had significant health issues. The idea of her potential care/needs was very uncertain. Her maternal grandmother and her father both had significant memory issue and she too was becoming bad...Her going, when and how she did, was a huge sense of relief and a major weight off my shoulders.

For those worried about the "after" one thing that stuck with me was something my mom had said when I was young. My mom was a very very strong Catholic, my fathers family was Baptist (and they would pray for her) so growing up they felt us kids would make our own decision about faith and organized religion. While I was still pretty young my dads parents had both passed away. I was actually born with 3 great grand mothers and a great grandfather still alive. I asked what happens after and she asked me to try as hard as I could to remember what it was like before I was born, since I was young it wasn't that long ago. As hard as I tried I couldn't. She said that's probably what it will be like when you die...     

[rainier]

Apr 8, 2024 17:15:52 GMT -8 dapellegrini said:

Curious if any of you have felt compelled to make plans for your watch collection, if/when you check out?

I have so many watches, many separated from their boxes and papers, that would require a significant effort on my part to put back together, I just can't imagine leaving my kids to solve such riddles without some serious help / notes.

I've started a Google Doc that I hope my kids will find, with photos matching the watches to box and papers where appropriate, and need to document other details, like services completed on the watch (with dates), where they came from, how much I paid, etc.  Am I the only one?  Please share your organization and plans.  Mine could certainly use some fine tuning!

I have a fairly simple Excel spreadsheet with all the details of all my watches including approximate value, service done, serial numbers, dates, etc. This is all accessible to my family when the day comes. 

There's a few watches that everyone knows is sentimental or favorites of mine that will get passed on, all the other watches will be left for family to do what they wish. 

[dapellegrini]

We are also dealing with a tragic death in my family.  I am discovering first hand how hard it is to sort through what's left when someone very close to you is no longer here.  Even when the person is/was a minimalist, there is still so much to go through.  It has me determined to make the eventual burden of my passing as streamlined as possible. 

Living will, check.  Family Trust, check.  DNR and power of attorney, check.  Prepaid cremation service contract - in process.  My struggle is with "stuff", especially watches right now.  I really like a couple ideas that have been shared here so far - namely the "if found dead" book, and the idea of naming another watch enthusiast friend responsible for my watch collection when I go, whether that means selling them, gifting them, etc.  I also really love the Swedish Death Cleaning exercise, and have kicked off a first round of this for myself just recently.  It is a process, and is not going as quickly as I would like, but I will get there!

I am very much enjoying the feedback, thoughts, and reflections on life and death.

[leffemonster]

My mum likes to make lists to help her remember stuff. For years, every time I visited my parents, she badgered me to tell her what I wanted to have out of the house after they’d both passed. My reply was always “my sister and I won’t argue about who gets what mum, so don’t worry.” But she kept on asking. Eventually, I said “ok, I’m ready”, and she got her little notebook out. “There’s two things in this house I’ll want when you’re both gone. But you don’t need to write them down as they’re the two things I won’t be able to have - you and dad.”

But I think this is something we all think about a lot more as we grow older. camrok , that’s a great idea for dealing with your watch collection and something I’ve previously thought about doing - the big question is who to approach! Ultimately they’re just ‘stuff’ to anyone else, but stuff that might, in some cases, have a significant monetary value - and that needs some consideration. 

[DanS]

This topic always seems to come up amongst collectors, and it's not a particularly comfortable one. Like the OP, I have it in my head that it would be hard to sell my watches, because only I know which ones have boxes/papers, spare bracelet links, etc. I keep hoping that one of these years I'll get the itch to pare down my collection, but so far it seems to be the opposite. 

However, in the big picture, selling a bunch of collectible watches isn't the hardest thing in the world. They're small and relatively easy to sell. If I pass before my wife, she might not get top dollar for them, but she would do ok just contacting an auction house and donating whatever they don't want to sell. If the boxes and papers and bracelets don't get connected to the watches perfectly, the world will keep spinning. It would be a lot harder to sell other things that some people accumulate (art, cars, furniture, china/silverware, etc.). The only thing I'd really feel bad about would be my "dibs" list.

If my wife passes before me, I will just enjoy my watches until I go and I won't worry about it. We have no kids, and I expect I'll just bequeath everything to some foundation and let them take care of things.

[trilo]

After we got rid of our father's stuff and house, there was 600€ left to each of us (there is 6 of us), and that was it. I bought myself a Raleigh Professional from 1975 with that money. My father would have liked it.

The knowledge he passed onto us and left behind, is immense. I don't think I can ever reach that level and I hope my kids get even a small slice of it through me and my siblings.

I hope I can pass on an appreciation for good things (watches included), so they know what they have even without me being around.

[small]

We seem to be a pretty interesting forum to be discussing this. 

I'm not about the money myself, but I have been fortunate. Far from Rich just stable. I feel a bit sad that I say I had stronger feelings for my grandmother then my mom. I learned how to cook from her not sure why my mom didn't??? 

Several years before my grandmother passed she had been helping my kid brother out financially as well as making updates to her house, that she was leaving to my mom. She said if I keep spending like this I won't have any money to leave you guys. I said if you have any money left when you die you did it wrong!

I don't count other peoples money but things others do have me shake my head. I throw a nice 4th of July BBQ and have for decades! Anyway, years ago when the internet was still kind of new, I found you could order and have shipped live Maine Lobsters and Crabs. I already spend a bunch of dough on the party, why not blow a bit more and do something different. I asked at a function, before hand, what people would prefer Lobster or Crab?...I'd be making steaks too as it would be surf and turf. My BIL asked what it was going to cost I told him I was picking up the tab not to worry but he insisted and IIRC it would have been about $20 ea. for the lobster shipped. He said "I don't think I have ever eaten lobster before and I live to tell about it" I said it doesn't sound like you lived well... He then said he'd rather have the $20 and I said I'm not paying people to come to my party. He and his wife, my wife's sister, both seem to "know the Price of everything and the value of nothing". I guess I'm trying to live somewhere in between.

I really do think life is the moments and what we pass on. I'm remiss I never got to know my wife's grandfather a tin knocker that made some gorgeous ornaments and decorations out of sheet metal! Little parts drawers etc. The guy was mega talented...Art pretty much lost forever...


Anyway I have found I am the most sentimental of all my family including my kids. Once I'm gone, who knows what will become of all these things I've accumulated...As I said earlier what do I care I'm dead...


One maybe last thing, I'm not sure who all does this or can and where it is allowed. My Grandmother prepaid at todays rates for the funeral. Casket, marker and whatnot were al taken care of so we weren't worried about coming up with the dough. So she paid for a midline casket and when she past we got a midline even if it was more than she spent...they had years to earn interest on the money...Same with the marker and I think the "Service portion" of the wake. Again something to consider. When the weather breaks the wife and are are planning a trip to pick put our resting spots...She wants something over looking the woods...Women what are you going to do.         

[twhp101]

This has been really interesting reading. Thank you all for sharing. I have wondered what might happen if I did pass and what would happen to what I leave behind.

I'm a bit of a hoarder which I need to sort to some degree as I've experienced having to sort through a lifetime of possessions (my wife's grandparents) and it's not much fun for the family.

My watch collection is pretty complicated as I'm not actually sure how many there are, and the ones that have boxes have nothing to tie them to a particular box. I can't imagine anyone close to me being able to go through it all so it would probably have to go to auction. I tell myself I'm going to organise everything and slim it down but so far that hasn't happened...

[HiBeat]

Purely irreverently I will state that after I pass this will happen:
The mechaical watches will all stop within three days
The quartz watches will stop in a few years
My 7549 ad 7C4Xs will stop in 8 to 10 years


Now seriously:
One son has more than a passing interest but far from a passion in my Seikos he has picked out a few to remember me by. The rest I imagine will go the way of eBay or a pawn shop. I don't really care.

My other son has laid claim to my R@1ëx.   It's the only watch he likes in the entire world.

[trilo]

Here's a story what could happen aswel:

I recently got this watch through my wife's family. They were sorting out my wife's great uncle's belongings, to get some money for him (he didn't have too much) from items, that he had not used for ages and were collecting dust. I bought this Seiko 7123, non runner at that point (second hand was twitching though).

I think this watch was his best, but I don't think he thought or realized this as quality. Of course 7123 being his best, the others were nothing special (old and new, cheap brand watches). He wore a cheap brand watch as a daily driver and this had been neglected for years, maybe even decades.

So, I bought it at a fair price, serviced it and now I'm using it.

Today I wore it at his funeral. He died recently and lived to be 84 years.




So there's always a chance/hope some one will appreaciate what you leave behind.

[peterr]

My oldest son will appreciate more than a few of them, but i've got to
make sure he knows where they are, they're not hiding in plain sight,
they're hiding....could be the next owner of my house who discovers
them when they do some demolition, or as luck might have it, a watch
loving contractor...if you're like me, let the executor of your will know...